open post;

[concussionprotocol]

OPEN POST

Here's where we thread. Character history is available here and IC/OOC permissions are here. Any questions? Wanna run something by me? Shoot me a DM on this journal.

Some things I'd love to thread:

::post "In From the Cold" brain fog & trauma
::post EW putting lives back together
::seeing the Azim Steppe for the first time
::concerns about the effects of the Light
::Val being gullible/believing the wrong sob story
::actually opening up and having a conversation about her mem-loss
::her finding her family, either alive or dead
::or someone claiming to be her family who's actually a con artist
::Bad End AUs

Comments

[exarchon]

[His head jerks up in surprise, eyes wide and slightly distressed. He shakes his head rapidly]

What? No! Not at all! I- Gods, Val, I've been so proud of you since the moment I met you again. Everything you do amazes me, I- that's something I've never lied about. You give so much to everybody around you, you've saved so many lives, and... and you've done it while dealing with all those lost memories.

[Which she never should have had to, not since he found her again. He should have told her right from the beginning and the regret is eating him up, but he can't change that, he can't go back in time (again) and fix this, he just has to try and work out how to fix it now. If he can fix it now]

I know this is a lot, and that you might never be able to forgive me, but if there's anything at all I can do to earn your forgiveness I want to do it, I want to... I want to be the brother you should have had at your side this whole time, the brother I've failed to be.

[concussionprotocol]

[ He's proud of her... but never told her the truth of their relationship. Somehow, the dichotomy of that just stings. It's obvious that G'raha is apologetic -- and she knows full well that he would do whatever she asks of him. ]

Does anyone else know? [ Was anyone else looking at her in absolute pity while she searched for the brother that had been standing right beside her? Was anyone else shaking their head, clucking their tongue in mock sympathy. Oh that poor girl and her broken mind. ]

[exarchon]

No, nobody else.

[He would never have told anybody else without telling her first, and he knows that none of the other scions are nearly as interested in Val's past as he is, nor do they have quite the same resources that he had in the other future, where her story had been immortalised in a dozen or more ways.

Even those who had tried to investigate, to help Val fill in the gaps, would have had trouble tracing her back to the still-occupied Corvos, and he's sure he would have heard about it if they had.]

I've never told another soul... though I know that's poor consolation.

[concussionprotocol]

[ That, more than anything, tells her that G'raha did think about her even while hiding truths from her. It's not poor consolation -- it's probably the best thing he could have said and done in this circumstance.

Barring actually telling her before it blew up in their faces, of course. ]

Thank you.

[ She's angry, yes, but she's almost more angry with herself than with him. Could she be more gullible and small-minded? To just let anyone who smiled the right way and said the right words into her heart (and pocketbook?) She wants to say that she doesn't need protected, but it's obvious that she does.

That makes her angry. She's going to have to take up a hunt or seven to clear that from her system. ]

I want to tell me about them [ their parents, she means ] but I can't take it right now.

[exarchon]

I understand.

[And he does, absolutely. There's a part of him that wants to tell her everything now that the secret is out, but he also knows she's overwhelmed enough as it is, he doesn't want to pile more emotions on top of that]

Whenever you're ready, I'll be there to tell you everything you want to know.

[It's the least he can do. No more hiding anything from her]

[concussionprotocol]

[ She nods, perilously close to drawing into herself, her gaze a little distant. ]

G'raha, why?

[ He already explained himself and she's not even quite sure what she's asking. There's so much roiling around in her heart and mind, and she doesn't know how to express it. ]

[exarchon]

[He sort of understands anyway. He doesn't really have an answer, but he knows the question isn't literal. He's quiet for a moment before he just sighs softly, shrugging slightly helplessly]

It made sense at the time...

[The logic had seemed so clear to him before, now he just felt like a fool.]

I wish I could give you a better answer. Admitting I just made a mistake isn't very... satisfying to hear, I realise.

[concussionprotocol]

[ Val takes a deep breath, and lets it out in a long sigh. She did, on some level, understand why he'd done what he had. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to storm out of the Rising Stones and rain hell upon beasts in the wilderness. She wanted to scream and yell all of her frustration.

But just the devastated look she imagines on G'raha's face if she does that keeps her in her seat. She does truly love that stupid miquo'te. ]

Well. [ Her voice is a bit quiet. ] You are prone to idiocy now and again.

[exarchon]

[G'raha laughs helplessly - he knows this is a serious situation and he should still be grovelling, but he just can't help himself. He nods, accepting the insult.]

I am, I confess.

[He wants to say something about that's why he needs his little sister around, or that's what big brothers are for, but he doesn't know if it would be too soon. She needs time to get used to this, he knows, but he can't deny that some part of him is relieved it's out and that maybe, just maybe, her hurt will ease enough that they can build a proper sibling relationship again]

I promise to try my very hardest to never be quite this stupid again.

[concussionprotocol]

[ He's right: it would have been too soon. A remark joking about their (newfound to her) relationship might have undone any progress she's made toward understanding his reasons.

His helpless laugh draws a wan smile from her. Maybe they can fix this. ]

Promise me that the lies are done? If I ask, I want to know.

short tag is short

[exarchon]

[A smile is something, however weak, and it gives him renewed hope that he hasn't completely ruined everything]

I promise. Anything you want to know, even if it's weird or embarrassing. No more secrets from you ever.

short tags are still good tags

[concussionprotocol]

[ She'll hold him to that and, by the Fury, if he does lie to her again, there will be hell to pay. ]

I don't want to know it all right now. Just... were we all happy? For just a little while at least?

Re: short tags are still good tags

[exarchon]

[G'raha can't help the soft, sad smile that comes to his face. It's bittersweet, but he's glad at least he can give her this. He nods]

We were... We were really happy.

[They're some of his fondest memories, the time before. He loves Sharlayan a lot, loved growing up there, but those early years with his parents, his sister... they're always in his heart, especially since finding her again.]

[concussionprotocol]

[ She shouldn't have asked. The moment she heard his answer, she knew she wasn't ready for it. She presses her lips together and looks to the side, tears welling -- but not falling.

She'd not only been happy, but had somehow made others happy.

She wished that she could remember it. ]

[exarchon]

[His heart breaks a little to see her tears gathering, and despite himself he reaches out to her, automatically wanting to offer comfort. He hesitates before actually touching, hand hovering awkwardly in the air, uncertain if it would be welcome or not.]

I'm sorry...

[He knows this specific sadness isn't really his fault, he only answered her question, but he also knows that it is his fault because the entire situation is his fault]

[concussionprotocol]

[ She waves away his apology. Whatever had happened just minutes ago, she had asked, and he had answered, as he had promised he would. ]

Don't apologize.

[ She's all right, really. (Not really.) ] Thank you for answering the question.

[exarchon]

Sor-

[He stops, sheepish, and smiles ruefully. He almost apologises again for nearly apologising for apologising, but thankfully manages to break himself out of the loop and simply nod at her thanks]

I will answer any questions you have, whenever you are ready to ask them.

[concussionprotocol]

[ The Look she gives him when he starts to apologize...

Not that she isn't guilty of the same thing more often than not. She sighs, then, her earlier anger melting away into a fit of melancholy. ]

What if I'm never ready to ask them?

[ sorry for the delay -- things got kind of ridiculous over here. I know I owe you for the Aranea & Prompto thread and it's on my radar! ]

<3

[exarchon]

[There's a flicker in his expression, a hurt look - the thought of her never being ready breaks his heart, especially knowing that it might have been different if he'd made better choices. He smooths it over quickly though, it's not her fault and he isn't here to make her feel guilty]

Well... I hope that is not the case, but it's your choice. If you're not ready then you're not ready, and I can only wait and hope.

If there is anything I can do to help, I will, but only if that's what you want.

:)

[concussionprotocol]

Maybe someday. [ Forgive her, G'raha. She's not trying to be difficult, but she also thinks that maybe she's a earned a pass if she is. ] I know where to turn now, if that day comes.

[ When it comes; she knows herself too well. She'll be asking sooner rather than later. ]

Re: :)

[exarchon]

[She's definitely earned a pass. Even a maybe is more than he thought to hope for under the circumstances.]

You do, and I will always be there for you, as long as I can, as long as you'll allow me.