In-Game Development

ARR

In A Realm Reborn, Val is still trying to find her feet. She's fresh off a grievous loss that's done nothing else but compound the ones she's already had. She tried to explain once, how a memory lost could cause grief, but ended up floundering over her words. It's the loss of the warmth and kindness and all the things that she knew she once held dear.

ARR had a way of bringing all that up again, by trying to give her not only a new purpose, but a new circle of friends. At first, and even through ARR itself, she was reserved with the Scions. Life had not done her any kindnesses, and she was waiting for the moment when it all went sideways. There would come a time when she would be separated from them, by fate or someone's own design, and their memories would fade from her own broken mind.

And that's exactly what did happen, but this time, her friends showed stalwart resolve.

Heavensward

Rather than drift and let the winds take them, Val, Alphinaud, and Tataru planted their feet in Coerthas and faced all that came their way.

It was a turning point for Val. Up to that point, she had let herself be swept from her path. She had let others chart her course for her, and it had led to broken families, grief-stained memories, and an insecurity that she will always struggle with. Standing strong didn't alleviate all of the guilt and grief - it could not - but it let her find a confidence in herself that she had lacked.

Alphinaud, even in his own uncertainty, was a bastion of strength for her during this time. As time passed, more people came into her circle and she learned from them what it was like to Do The Right Thing and spit in the face of fate.

It hurt. It hurt so much when she lost dear friends. Those losses rent her heart into ragged pieces, and she would lose herself in raging grief now and again. She grew to understand why Adrik's widow had placed blame for his death solely at her feet. In loss, Val learned more about herself than she had simply drifting through without purpose.

How terrible that tragedy somehow gave her purpose. How could she let a death - a sacrifice - be so worthless as to not stand strong and rage against fate?

And, on top of all that, her friends gathered together again and refused to lose each other, and Val learned that, while sometimes memory fades, new ones can always be made.

Stormblood

Val was given the greatest gift she'd ever received during Stormblood: she was able to see the Azim Steppe, and what a wonder it was. Val learned more about her history, her family's lost tribe, and about her lost culture than she ever thought possible. Her time spent in the Steppe helped to reshape those things in her that were still lost. She became more confident.

She became more of herself.

The insecurity was still there, of course. No matter what she does, she'll still find a way to be insecure in her own self. But while the events of HW helped her find her feet and stand against all the things that would break her, SB helped her fight back against those things.

It was Tsuyu, though, that had her questioning her very self and soul. Tsuyu, who lost her memory and went from terrifying despot to lost little girl - and back again when pushed in the "right" direction. Val, with her own memory betraying her, had often wondered what she would be like had she all her memories. What would she be and do had she known exactly who she was and what she had done before?

Apparently, she would be the same person as she is, and that was somehow both reassuring and frightening. There was nothing that could change who she was at the core, and Val, for all her insecurity, likes the kind-hearted soul that she is. But... but if it's true that nothing, not even the loss of self, can change who a person is, then is there really no fighting against a pre-determined end?

She fought primals, Garleans, and existential crises one after another. Her friends were a little scattered, but they still occupied places in her mind and by her side. She found herself somewhat adrift, though, questioning her place and purpose.

Then, when it all seemed to be doing better, her closest friends started dropping into a sleep from which they could not awake and Val panicked.

She'd fought so hard for enough of a sense of self to keep them close and then they were leaving her. Val was a mess, neither sleeping nor eating very well at all.

Shadowbringers

Then she found them, a world away. Rather than be too delighted in finding her way again, she was thrust into saving the entire world.

Or, what was left of it, at any rate. The things she saw on the First horrified her, and she found that even in her power, she was still not enough to save everyone. It shook her, shattered what self-confidence she had, and she found herself leaning ever more heavily on the Scions.

And they welcomed her back into their fold with nary a hiccup. They fought together, traveled together, and were just there in ways that they hadn't ever managed before. Their purposes were one and the same now. Rather than having a split focus, they oftentimes found themselves in the same places working for the same things.

What a strength they had together.

And the Exarch - something about him tickled Val's mind from the very beginning. She couldn't quite place the timbre of his voice, or his mannerisms, but there was a familiarity about him that screamed that she knew him from some place. Her broken memory could never put the pieces together, not until she looked him full in the face and ragged puzzle pieces slotted themselves together.

Another old friend, given space in her mind again.

For all the horror visited upon her and the people around her, Val was most at home on the First, with everyone she loved. She almost hadn't wanted it all to end, but when they all returned home - G'raha included - it seemed that that togetherness stayed with them, too.

Val couldn't have been happier.

Endwalker (spoiler-light)

At first, nothing could have shaken Val's resolve. She and her friends were together at long last, facing all these challenges without a hitch in their steps.

Then it all started to wrong. Val leaned heavily on them, letting their resolve buoy her. She projected confidence, but only because the people around her did so in spades. Difficult conversations about memory notwhithstanding, she found a peace within herself that had never existed before.

Oh, things were still terrible around them. Her heart hurt, her soul cried out in grief for all those who raged against the coming end. She cried - and dried her tears and let them hold her up as an icon of strength.

She wondered if her friends knew how much strength they gave her just by being close, by being the resolute souls that they were.

She overheard a conversation, in which one person told another that, when they were reunited in death, all those memories that they lost would be returned to them, and the final missing piece of Val's soul eased the everpresent heartbreak that faded and lost memories caused.

She would, someday, know those faces and voice again. She would find who she was again. That alone was almost enough to give her the unshakeable resolve she wanted.

Not quite enough, though. At the end, if was the fear of letting everyone down, and letting every sacrifice that got her this far be in vain that made her put one foot in front of the other. If she failed, it wouldn't be because she gave up.

When it came time to return the favor, Val didn't hesitate to sacrifice herself for them. They had given so much to her.

At the end of it all, despite all the triumph, Val is left shaken and traumatized. She never asked and never wanted anyone to go that far for her. Grief - unanswered and somehow still everpresent despite how things turned around - still sits heavy on her heart.

She fought despair itself, and seemed to some of it on. She's struggling now, to find herself and her meaning again.

So here's the thing: Valeria doesn't know who she is.

Weird, yeah, but it is what it is. Valeria has the vaguest memories of her parents and clan, but her parents are faceless entities in her mind. She knows they left the steppe as the last of a dying clan, wanting to neither integrate into another or be reborn into glory anew. She was very young when they left. She knows that they sailed far and long and she knows she feels most at home when the ocean breeze caresses her face.

She knows she lost them violently. (She has dreams sometimes; half-remembered images stuck in her conscious forever.) When she did, she lost her very identity. Everything that made her Xaela, with the exception of physical traits, was lost to the sea and storms.

A young orphan - and likely a pirate's orphan, at that - left to make her way in the outer reaches of Eorzea really didn't stand a chance, but a family took her in shortly after her parents' deaths. She was renamed, but loved and loved well. She thinks they were in La Noscea, somewhere. The sea has ever been a part of her dim memories. She has vague flashes of a comforting presence, an older sister that helped her cope and a old widower that let her cry on his shoulder.

And then they were gone, too. She remembers fire.

She remembers nothing else.

There's a scar along her hairline at the back of her neck. There's another jagged line hidden in her hair behind her temple. She's been told that her memory will likely never come back. She knows she once had a perfect sense of direction, able to sail by the stars even at a young age. Now, she can barely read a map without getting turned around. She forgets things - usually not the important things, thankfully. Her earliest concrete memory is wandering with an adventurer and bounty hunter named Adrik. He wasn't a great teacher but she learned a lot from him anyway. After a couple of years with him, she decided to go her own way.

She received news of a hunt gone badly for Adrik. Val made her way to her (third) home as quickly as she possibly could, but she had been too late. Adrik had died in her absence, and his wife had blamed Val for it. Had she been there, Adrik might not have been hurt. Val took that condemnation to heart and let Adrik's widow drive her away. Even now, Val refuses to let anger fester over it, but she will never go back of her own volition.

She took to adventuring and eventually wandered into Gridania.

The rest? Well. That's in-game, mostly.

When pressed for a surname, she blurted the first one that came to mind: Adrik, the name of the surly old bounty hunter who had taught her how to survive. It was the only name she could remember, besides her own. (Sometimes, it's lucky that she knows her own name.)

Val - as she prefers to be called - is generally upbeat, though sometimes prone to fits of frustration when alone. She's reserved, compassionate, and thoroughly tactless, though not out of any malicious intent. Val is more likely to believe a sob story than anyone she knows and her friends have probably had to save her from losing her entire life's savings more than once. Her short-term memory is completely shot, but she has ways of coping. She makes up lyrics and melodies to help thinks stick. (She sings "lali-ho". It's adorable and endearing and kind of annoying.) If someone's humming during a conversation, it's probably her.

Half of her wandering all over the known world is an attempt to find out what happened to her adoptive family, but she's afraid that if they did survive, they might be more upset to know that she barely remembers them than to think she's dead.

Val is, on the whole, compassionate, if prone to the occasional sardonic comment. She truly believes in trying to leave the world better than what she found it, whether that's some actual world-ending thing she's trying to stop or helping a farmer get his crops in order. (Not that those little things sometimes seem kind of petty sometimes, but she's honestly happy to see a job well done.) It's a rare day that Val actually complains about anything - at least, it's rare that people hear it. Some things - like the frustration of coping with memory loss - she keeps close. Even close friends might not realize how it affects her emotional state on a day-to-day basis.

Never one to shoot first, Val tends to try to find a diplomatic solution to political (or even non-political) problems. She's not a pacifist by any means, but she tends to shy away from unnecessary violence. When diplomacy fails, though, Val tends to take it a bit personally; if she's such a gods-be-damned hero, why can't she lead people to solutions that don't involve death or misery? It becomes a failing on her part, even when a non-violent solution is the least likely.

Val is confident in her abilities, but not always in herself. There's a rooted insecurity there, fed well by her trauma. She'll work herself to the bone on someone else's errands just to make up for perceived failings.

She is something of a mimic, and it comes from not having a background to draw upon. Her speech is neutral, with no real hint as to her home, but if she's around someone or in a particular place long enough, she'll start to pick up accents and figures of speech. She has her own mannerisms, of course, and most of her odd mimicry is limited to speech patterns. She tends to pick up small cultural things from here and there, and turns it all into an odd mish-mash of her own.

Val found that she had some talent with archery while with Adrik. Then, while in Gridania, she followed the path of the bard. It meshed well with her personality, and her strengths. While she rarely picks up the bow anymore, there is still power in her voice. Oftentimes, if she can't be found, she might be busking at a local tavern, having convinced whoever's in charge to give her a corner to perform. While it may seem like the spotlight clashes with her generally quieter personality, she sometimes yearns for the comfort of her music. (Val has a natural talent with instruments, and can play almost anything she picks up.)

She picked up a machinist's weapon while in Ishgard out of curiosity, and it ended up being a fortuitous thing. As sineaaters wreaked havoc with her body, she found her natural connection to aether starting to fray. She found it much easier to use the aetherometer to help gather the energy and disperse it. It rent something in her music-loving soul to put aside the weapons of the bard. It's something she rarely speaks of - like the blind eye or the memory loss or the scars on her head.

She's studying botany, because while the sea is life, the forests are peace. Or something like that. She likes the forests enough that she got an apartment in Gridania, but she's a wanderer at heart. Always has been.

Even if she can't remember it all.

Val has a fading white umbral ring in left eye. After repeated encounters with sin-eaters, her already limited vision in that eye got worse. (She thinks it's related to the scars on that side of her head.) She is usually wearing either glasses or an eyepiece meant to help her sight on the battlefield.

She's tiny. Like would barely have to bend down to speak to a lalafel tiny. Like eye to eye with Alphinaud short. Despite having some well-toned muscle, Val looks very delicate upon first glance.

She trends toward more tailored looks and heavy boots. She gets cold easily and likes heavier clothes, though she actually has no qualms about showing some skin. Val likes to be comfortable, though, and will only wear lighter clothes when it is very warm.

Her hair is dark brown with red streaks dyed into it. She has a habit of growing it out to about her shoulders and then chopping it all off and then repeating the process over and over again.

She hates hats. They mess with her horns, and they mess with her eyepieces.