concussionprotocol | open post;

[ Val's brow furrows and, as she's wont to do when faced with information she's processing, her head tilts just a bit to the side. There's no part of her that doesn't believe that G'raha is earnest and completely believes what he's saying. (She doesn't think he'd ever be capable of lying to her.)

But when it comes to the family she's searched for for ages, she wants -- needs -- to remain optimistic.

Her voice is hard, flat: ] Explain.

[He expected that hardness, knowing how much having family means to her. It stings across his senses like a cut and his ears flinch away from it - but he knows it's deserved. More deserved than she realises.

He swallows nervously.]

I thought... I thought some of what she said seemed strange, it didn't quite fit with certain things I know to be true... and particularly...

[Why is this so hard? She deserves to know. She's always deserved to know...]

I know you couldn't possibly have been with Maeve when you learned to walk. I... I know who your family were at that age...

[ She, of course, knows that he's looked into her life. But that he hadn't said anything about her family always meant to her that he knew just as much as she -- which is nothing. He's one of very few people she's ever confided in regarding her memory loss, and he knows how much it bothers her, even on good days.

Yet he stands in front of her now and tells her differently.

(She's saving the information about Maeve for later. She'll deal with that when the time comes.) ]

You... what?

I'm sorry...

[The words are quiet and pained, soaked with regret - but he already knows they won't be enough, they don't feel like enough]

I didn't know immediately, I thought perhaps when the Garleans invaded Corvos that your parents might have sent you away to be safe, that you might have ended up with Maeve that way, but...

[He realises he's starting in the middle, talking in circles because he's still too scared to admit the truth. He shakes his head, annoyed with himself]

I'm sorry, I'm not making sense... I thought that might have happened because they sent your brother away first, because the Garleans were looking for Allagan relics and he... I...

[He looks up at her, slightly helplessly, motions vaguely to his eyes to try and explain what he was attempting to say, even though that's absolutely not the point and suddenly his words have dried up and he doesn't know how to continue]

[ She can't find words. Not after what he's saying becomes clear. Her mouth works, but nothing happens. Anger, betrayal, grief... it's all there, all coming in all at once and the only way she can deal with it is to set her jaw and work through it.

... she's not doing so well at working through it. Her hands are in fists -- she can feel her nails digging into her palms. She takes a few steps closer to him.

And slaps him. ]

Stay right there. [ And the anger is very apparent. She turns toward the door and stalks through it -- presumably to deal with Maeve while she has the anger for it. ]

[G'raha sees the hit coming but he's not fast enough to dodge it - he doesn't even want to dodge it. He deserves it, he thinks, that and more. He opens his mouth to try and say more, to find the right words that will make this okay somehow, but she cuts him off before he can find even a syllable.

He nods once, watches her leave and lifts a hand to rub his stinging cheek and tries very hard not to cry - mostly out of frustration with himself.

He also doesn't move - she said stay right there so that's what he's doing, his feet practically glued to the floor in the middle of the rising stones.]

[ Kicking Maeve out of Seventh Heaven is cathartic. There's some pleading and some anger and maybe Val causes a bit of a scene but there's not a single person in Revenant's Toll that would stand between the Warrior of Light and her righteous anger.

And, in the end, neither would Maeve.

Val is able to come back into the Rising Stones with a bit of it vented, but her eyes are still fiery, shining in anger-betrayal-grief. She walks past G'raha -- who, she notes with a sort of detached amusement, hasn't moved from that spot at all -- and motions for him to follow. ]

Come sit with me.

[ She leads the way to one of the tables and takes a seat. ]

[G'raha can hear some of the commotion from where he's standing and it makes him wince slightly - he would feel bad for unleashing that on Maeve but also she was trying to con his baby sister so she had it coming. Mostly, he feels bad for making Val that angry. He knows, or can guess, that much of her anger is actually pain, and it breaks his heart to know he's the cause of it. He had thought to spare her of any hurt, but he can already see he was wrong.

He nods at the instruction and turns to trail after her - if he wasn't so guilty and worried he'd be amused at the switch from her following him around in their youth. He sits, folds his hands on the table in front of him and stares down at them for a moment before daring to speak.]

I know you're angry, and hurt, and you have every right to be.

[ Val can't even begin to name the emotions that are screaming in her head and her heart. She's almost afraid to speak first, afraid that her emotions will get the better of her and she'll not only lose the sister she thought she had, but also the friend who has given his all for her.

Even so, it all sticks deep in her craw. She looks sharply over at him, having been staring off to the side while he spoke. ]

Of course I do.

[ She doesn't want platitudes, G'raha. She wants an explanation. ]

Right... yes...

[He swallows nervously, hesitating for another moment before pushing it all aside - it's not fair on her for him to continue to be a coward about this. She deserves better. She deserves the truth]

I'm sorry. I know I should have told you sooner, much sooner. My parents, our parents, they adopted you when you were very young, we grew up in Corvos until the Garlean invasion. Because I had the Allagan eye, they sent me away to keep me from the Garleans, and after that...

I never found out what happened to you until years later, and when I realised you didn't remember... I wasn't sure how to tell you, if I should tell you. Our parents are... they're gone, Val, we're the only ones left, and I thought maybe it was better to live with the hope that they were out there somewhere than the knowledge that they weren't.

[He looks down at his hands again, sighs]

Really, though... I was just scared to admit that I left you, that I went to Sharlayan and I never found you again and I thought... I thought you would be angry at me for leaving you behind and I was... I was a coward, and I was selfish, and I'm sorry.

[ Since the beginning of her association with the Scions, Val has ever been cognizant of her status as the one other people rely on. Thanks for that, Minfilia. So, as she's listening to G'raha and tears sting her eyes, she takes a breath and looks away.

All this time and the thing she sought so earnestly had been standing right in front of her.

And lying to her. By omission, at the very least.

How is it that she finally finds what she's looking for, and all she can drum up is anger? But no, that's not quite right either. There's such a mix of emotion that she can't possibly begin to name it all. Anger, betrayal, old and new grief, even a hint of understanding underneath all of it.

(There's a reason that Val is who she is, that she takes on the mantle of Warrior of Light and does all the things she needs to do without complaint. That side of her allows her to understand why G'raha did what he did.)

She bites at her lip. When she speaks, she's still looking to the side.] How empty-headed I must have looked to you.

[ There it is, the thing that bothers her most about it: that G'raha took advantage of her disability -- something he knows very well that she struggles to reconcile -- for his own ends. ]

[His head jerks up in surprise, eyes wide and slightly distressed. He shakes his head rapidly]

What? No! Not at all! I- Gods, Val, I've been so proud of you since the moment I met you again. Everything you do amazes me, I- that's something I've never lied about. You give so much to everybody around you, you've saved so many lives, and... and you've done it while dealing with all those lost memories.

[Which she never should have had to, not since he found her again. He should have told her right from the beginning and the regret is eating him up, but he can't change that, he can't go back in time (again) and fix this, he just has to try and work out how to fix it now. If he can fix it now]

I know this is a lot, and that you might never be able to forgive me, but if there's anything at all I can do to earn your forgiveness I want to do it, I want to... I want to be the brother you should have had at your side this whole time, the brother I've failed to be.

[ He's proud of her... but never told her the truth of their relationship. Somehow, the dichotomy of that just stings. It's obvious that G'raha is apologetic -- and she knows full well that he would do whatever she asks of him. ]

Does anyone else know? [ Was anyone else looking at her in absolute pity while she searched for the brother that had been standing right beside her? Was anyone else shaking their head, clucking their tongue in mock sympathy. Oh that poor girl and her broken mind. ]

No, nobody else.

[He would never have told anybody else without telling her first, and he knows that none of the other scions are nearly as interested in Val's past as he is, nor do they have quite the same resources that he had in the other future, where her story had been immortalised in a dozen or more ways.

Even those who had tried to investigate, to help Val fill in the gaps, would have had trouble tracing her back to the still-occupied Corvos, and he's sure he would have heard about it if they had.]

I've never told another soul... though I know that's poor consolation.

[ That, more than anything, tells her that G'raha did think about her even while hiding truths from her. It's not poor consolation -- it's probably the best thing he could have said and done in this circumstance.

Barring actually telling her before it blew up in their faces, of course. ]

Thank you.

[ She's angry, yes, but she's almost more angry with herself than with him. Could she be more gullible and small-minded? To just let anyone who smiled the right way and said the right words into her heart (and pocketbook?) She wants to say that she doesn't need protected, but it's obvious that she does.

That makes her angry. She's going to have to take up a hunt or seven to clear that from her system. ]

I want to tell me about them [ their parents, she means ] but I can't take it right now.

I understand.

[And he does, absolutely. There's a part of him that wants to tell her everything now that the secret is out, but he also knows she's overwhelmed enough as it is, he doesn't want to pile more emotions on top of that]

Whenever you're ready, I'll be there to tell you everything you want to know.

[It's the least he can do. No more hiding anything from her]

[ She nods, perilously close to drawing into herself, her gaze a little distant. ]

G'raha, why?

[ He already explained himself and she's not even quite sure what she's asking. There's so much roiling around in her heart and mind, and she doesn't know how to express it. ]

[He sort of understands anyway. He doesn't really have an answer, but he knows the question isn't literal. He's quiet for a moment before he just sighs softly, shrugging slightly helplessly]

It made sense at the time...

[The logic had seemed so clear to him before, now he just felt like a fool.]

I wish I could give you a better answer. Admitting I just made a mistake isn't very... satisfying to hear, I realise.

[ Val takes a deep breath, and lets it out in a long sigh. She did, on some level, understand why he'd done what he had. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to storm out of the Rising Stones and rain hell upon beasts in the wilderness. She wanted to scream and yell all of her frustration.

But just the devastated look she imagines on G'raha's face if she does that keeps her in her seat. She does truly love that stupid miquo'te. ]

Well. [ Her voice is a bit quiet. ] You are prone to idiocy now and again.

[G'raha laughs helplessly - he knows this is a serious situation and he should still be grovelling, but he just can't help himself. He nods, accepting the insult.]

I am, I confess.

[He wants to say something about that's why he needs his little sister around, or that's what big brothers are for, but he doesn't know if it would be too soon. She needs time to get used to this, he knows, but he can't deny that some part of him is relieved it's out and that maybe, just maybe, her hurt will ease enough that they can build a proper sibling relationship again]

I promise to try my very hardest to never be quite this stupid again.

[ He's right: it would have been too soon. A remark joking about their (newfound to her) relationship might have undone any progress she's made toward understanding his reasons.

His helpless laugh draws a wan smile from her. Maybe they can fix this. ]

Promise me that the lies are done? If I ask, I want to know.

[A smile is something, however weak, and it gives him renewed hope that he hasn't completely ruined everything]

I promise. Anything you want to know, even if it's weird or embarrassing. No more secrets from you ever.

[ She'll hold him to that and, by the Fury, if he does lie to her again, there will be hell to pay. ]

I don't want to know it all right now. Just... were we all happy? For just a little while at least?

[G'raha can't help the soft, sad smile that comes to his face. It's bittersweet, but he's glad at least he can give her this. He nods]

We were... We were really happy.

[They're some of his fondest memories, the time before. He loves Sharlayan a lot, loved growing up there, but those early years with his parents, his sister... they're always in his heart, especially since finding her again.]

[ She shouldn't have asked. The moment she heard his answer, she knew she wasn't ready for it. She presses her lips together and looks to the side, tears welling -- but not falling.

She'd not only been happy, but had somehow made others happy.

She wished that she could remember it. ]

open post;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

short tag is short

short tags are still good tags

Re: short tags are still good tags

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

<3

:)

Re: :)